Please update your links & feeds:

Kentucky Cupcake is my new home. Hopefully for some time to come.

Exciting news... though kind of random and it might be confusing.

Through the years I've changed websites numerous times as I've moved through various stages of life. It works for me. Sometimes I lose readers by doing this, but it's important to me that my online space reflects my offline place in life and I don't like certain associations that are sometimes made with certain blogs I've had.

Because of this, I am opening a domain that I intend on being my final online home for some time. I picked a name that I felt reflected my youth but I could also grow into. And as much as I love "Momfish" and what it stood for, I feel limited in what I can do with it and the audience I can reach. There are more aspects to my personality than "mom", and more things I'd like to blog about -- marriage, photography attempts, outing with friends, politics, and unwavering love of unhealthy foods.

I had planned on turning Momfish into a profitable venture where I targeted a specific readership niche, but I have friends outside of that niche and I miss sharing similarities and differences with them through this great big blogger world. While I'll still have to be very careful about what I share (considering the sensitivity of my profession... well... future profession when I choose to return to work), I also recognize that it's 2011 and people are more accepting than they used to be and expect their therapist to be human and not cold or rehearsed.

So. I hope you'll come along with me, you 5 readers that have managed to keep up with me through the reader. I'll announce the new site very soon.

I'm looking for the perfect 2 under diaper bag and I'm tired of looking. There are cons to every one of the ones I've seen... and a lot of the time it's the price. Almost $200 for a diaper bag? I just can't justify it.

So far I have bought this bag in red for overnight trips, aquarium trips, trips to the zoo, etc. Basically any time I'm going to be out for hours & hours without access to the car and with both babies.

It's a huge backpack. HUGE. And since I'm only 5'2", it looks kind of ridiculous on me. I was prepared for this though and ordered it anyway, knowing we're going to need something with lots of organizational pockets for those longer days/nights.

However, I still need something that is day to day. I have two diaper bags already. A personalized one that says "EVERLY" in huge pink letters on the front (so that one is out) and a small Kalencom bag my sister bought me at a boutique simply because of the name. While I love my Kalencom bag, it's very, very small and doesn't have any insulated pockets and the inside pockets are small and hard to reach into. It's one of the older generation styles and it just doesn't work the way I need it to. However, I'm a pretty light packer and I've appreciated the fact that I don't feel like I'm toting around a piece of luggage when I carry it.


DESIRED FEATURES
-Two outside pockets, preferably insulated. One for a sippy and one for a bottle.
-A key holder on an easy to access outside pocket
-A light colored interior so I can see inside
-Big enough to carry enough stuff for 2 babies, but not so big that it's bulky & riduclous
-Nothing babyish that couldn't look like a regular messenger/backpack/whatever
-Something gender and color neutral so Billy can carry it, too
-Ability to carry as a messenger back (and/or backpack)
-Padded shoulder straps for comfort
-Zip or strong magnetic closures because Everly (and playgroup babies) like going through diaper bags and taking everything out

Anybody have any recommendations?

Found this article on the Myths About Circumcision You Likely Believe to be pretty fascinating. Some of the myths include:

1) It doesn't hurt the baby
2) The baby won't remember it
3) It doesn't cause the baby any long-term harm

Read more about it here, especially if you're pregnant with a baby boy.

How do you decide how to dress your child? Do you use their preferences or do you dress them how you would dress yourself at that age? Do you dress them just like you, or do you try and give them a unique style that you would never pull off yourself? Do you like to dress them in the latest trends or only designer clothes?

One thing I've noticed about how I dress Everly is that a lot of her clothes are gifts, so everything is pretty eclectic. A matter of fact, I've only bought her something myself a handful of times (like online just now) because she has been pretty stocked up to this point. Here are some of the things I just bought her at The Children's Place:

Moms need breaks.

For many a "break" means an alcoholic beverage. But when you've been pregnant for half of your life, you have no idea what that even tastes like any more. So instead you host a slumber party at your house with babyless friends who stay the night to indulge you, make mocktails (1 part orange juice, 2 parts cranberry juice, 3 parts gingerale), and line the rim of a wine glass (because you don't have martini glasses) with sprinkles to be cutesy.

It felt like I was in college again. Only in college I didn't look like a bloated wreck of a mess (at least not all the time). We stayed up until 2am talking, watching movies, and eating chips, Bagel Bites, and white macadamia nut cookies. I woke up around 4:30am with vicious heartburn but it was worth it. I was with two of my best girl friends and we never skip a beat when we get back together. It's as if we're the same girls that used to dance on stage every Saturday at our favorite club.



The same girls only now we look at Scentsy stuff, talk about upcoming weddings and my upcoming baby (along with the cutie I already have) and bond over stories about our significant others being ridiculous. The conversation has changed a little, but the friendship always seems to pick up right where it left off.

Here are some of Everly's favorite things, at the ripe age of 13.5 months, soaked in wisdom and sprinkled with life experience.

Finally getting around to completing this, almost 2 months late.

Our beautiful girl, growing up! I love the 2nd, 6th, 9th, and 11 month pictures the best. I'm going to do the same thing with baby boy when he gets here.

Can't wait.

There's a post at Girls Gone Child that touched me today when I read it called The Changes that Occur Overnight.

I can relate to most of what she says, though admittedly I was probably way less of a party girl than she was before becoming a mother. Still, this really struck me:

"The truth was, shallow as it sounds, I missed the party. But parties (as one so quickly learns) never miss you back."

I encourage all mamas to go read and relate.

And to continue allowing motherhood to inspire us.

"Parenthood has become something to fear - like age itself - the responsibility of taking lives into our own hands and raising them. How quickly we forget that we've come this far taking care of ourselves, that sometimes it takes having a child to grow out of being one."

1) Even if she just ate and her tummy is full, whenever I eat something she scurries over and screams, "Ah! Ah! Ah!" until I give her a bite of my food. While endearing (yes) it can also be... a little soul-stirring to never again have a single meal where I can just eat without a tiny seagull claiming my food.




2) Turns on and unlocks my iPhone. Sigh... I knew this day would come but this soon? Really? Watching her slide her tiny, chubby finger across the screen to unlock it is adorable (and makes me kinda proud, I'll admit) but gone are the days where I can give her my phone as a worst case scenario distraction. Sorry if you've been getting blank texts.

3) Grabs her blanket (and whatever stuffed animal is in the crib with her, if there is one) and holds it close to her in the morning so that she doesn't leave it behind when you pick her up. She gives the sweetest smile in the world and then tucks her blanket beneath her chin tightly and coos and points while you walk toward her. Bliss.

4) Plays with anything that is not actually a toy. Some favorites? Her diapers. Wipes. Remote controls. My phone. Video game cases. Xbox controllers. Coasters. Paper towels. Clothing items.

5) Turns the TV/Xbox on & off about 400 times in a row. Haven't found a solution to this one yet, but am impressed with her persistence. Husband is terrified.

6) Stands up in the bathtub, over and over and over and over and over again... and apparently she does not respond to the command, "Sit on your bottom," because no. She will not do it. And the more you tell her to do it, the more she will stand up.

7) Seeks out the dog's water/food bowl like a bat on a grub worm. No matter where I put it, she will find it. Then she will put her hands in the water and slosh it around. Then she will pick the bowl up and turn it over. Then she will scoot her body through the spilled water. If there is food left in the bowl (which I rarely allow there to be these days) then she will stuff it in her cheeks for preserving. Millie has learned to eat her meals fast & messy. I assure her that I completely understand.



8) Points at the ceiling fan and dog when I ask where they are. Everything else is meaningless to her and she will not point at it unless she wants to.

9) Points when she wants to distract us from something. If she's getting sleepy and we go to pick her up and sway her back and forth, she'll start pointing at items in the room as a last attempt at fighting sleep. She gets this from me, no doubt. We don't go down without a fight!

10) Causes actual pain in my heart on a regular basis. I don't know if it's physically becoming larger or what (if it happened to The Grinch it can happen to me), but when I look at her, I love her so much and so intensely that it just hurts. It's a good pain. The pain you get when you have a sore muscle and press deeply on it and think, "Owwwww," but it somehow also feels wonderful? She slays me. I love her, I love her, I love her.

I have seen this question asked on message boards over & over again:


I'm usually just as curious as the original poster, so I'll scroll through the replies for a couple of pages. These are what the answers usually resemble:



This is a great, healthy menu for a toddler... heck, even for an adult (okay minus the breast milk... well...actually...no I won't go there). But I honestly do not know where these women are finding the time or energy or money to make all these handmade foods, steam all these fruits and veggies, and then they kind of brag about it and it makes it worse.

I think nutrition is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves and our children. However, realistically I can't really make this type of meal plan fit into my daily life without giving it constant thought, and I have other things I'm thinking (and doing) that are important, too. I don't think I'm as good at managing time as some of these moms.

I'm not putting down moms that put so much time into their children's diet (and I am not referring to moms that have to do this because of allergies or special needs). I'm trying to say that I'm not one of those moms and I'm not sure that makes me any less of a caring, nurturing parent than they are. But maybe it does make me lazier?

Should I throw in that Everly has been sick one time in her life? Does that give me any more credit? No? Crap.

I kind of do what they do in moderation, though. I do believe in buying quality, organic ingredients when you can. I do believe in balancing each meal if possible. I do believe in offering a variety.

But unfortunately, I also use lots of packaged products... and even if they are high quality, that will earn me a slap on the wrist from most "crunchy" moms. However, I have a feeling a mom like Mandy would probably high five me and totally understand what I'm talking about. And then we'd get dirty looks.

So I'm sure you're wondering what Everly's meals look like, then? Well... not much different... minus all the homemade stuff. At 13 months old, this is a typical day's meal "plan" for her (with all these meals she drinks organic milk & has water for snack times):


So what do you think of using packaged foods for your baby, even if they're organic, no sodium added, wholesome, etc.? It saves me time and money, and I feel like Everly is getting the nutrition she needs. Sure, I do still use fresh produce as well, but frozen vegetables are as healthy as fresh vegetables, so I wonder what's the point sometimes?

If you're a mom that's horrible at cooking and would rather fall of a cliff and break all your bones than plan every meal your child is going to eat for the day, I'm right there with you. I hope you're not beating yourself up over the trendy "make your own food or it will harm your baby" movement or the claims people make of feeding their baby only things they grow themselves. These things are great but not always necessary.

I'm not saying go feed your baby Fruit Loops with chocolate milk and ice cream all day, by the way.

I do agree with many of the sentiments made about children's food today (Everly has had fruit juice like 3 times in her life because it doesn't make sense to me, I don't give her food with red dye in it, I watch the sodium content of foods, etc.) but I also think moderation is key.

Maybe the reason more people aren't eating healthier or feeding their babies healthier is because they feel overwhelmed and pressured? Our current culture seems kind of obsessed with it, too. And while I think it's great and optimistic to shout, "Cooking can be fun! Grocery shopping, too!" that's just not the case for everyone. Some of us hate both, and although I am sometimes a little envious of these households that eat so amazingly smart, I'm also kind of okay with just being in the middle. And what if we encouraged more people to just ride the middle line instead of crossing all the way over into kale smoothies for breakfast and apple slices with almond butter for every snack? What if they just need to start with using Whole Wheat Bread instead of White or No-Salt Added ketchup on their hot dogs?

Baby steps. For the health of our babies and the health of each other.

What do you think?

We are settling into our new house.

So I was reading iMom and came across an interesting little article called 13 Danger Signs Your Child is Your Idol. I expected some humorous quips about the fact that you no longer have any pictures of yourself with friends anywhere - they've all been replaced of pictures of your kids, or the fact that you have toddler music on your iPhone, etc. etc.

The article was intended to be serious upon reading, but I found myself raising an eyebrow to a lot of the list's criteria. Out of the 13 "danger signs", here are the ones that confused me slightly & made me feel horrible for the wives of the fathers that shared this information (p.s. no mothers were apparently asked their opinion):

Okay, wait. This means my child is my idol? Can't it just mean that hormones have wreaked havoc on my body? Could it mean that it's hard getting up in the middle of the night with a teething or fussy baby? Could it mean that I don't feel as physically attractive as I used to because I weigh 30lbs heavier and have stretchmarks in strange places?

Exactly. I'm not making an effort on my appearance because I am too tired. It has nothing to do with my child being my idol. It has to do with the physical, emotional, and mental demands that comes with parenting. It takes some women longer than others to adjust to these demands, though eventually most start caring about their appearance again when they're ready.

How do you treat someone like a dad? How do you treat them like a husband? How does that at all relate to your child being your idol? Couldn't it just be because roles are generally confusing for a while after having children?

This one made me laugh out loud. I imagined a woman in an apron, baby on her hip, slaving over a steaming pot of boiling water. You know you're really obsessed with your child when you no longer cook 3 meals per day. I also love that this responsibility is automatically linked with the mother/wife as well, by the way. And I'm assuming the article also implies that this particular mother isn't working?

Listen... I didn't breastfeed so I can't really speak to this one on a personal level. But I'm going to take a wild guess based on stories I've heard that the demands/requirements of breastfeeding are extremely draining and the last thing you need to be worried about is if your husband wants "access" to parts of your body.

Breastfeeding is an important and temporary relationship with your child... feeding the baby comes before your husband's "access" and you should not feel like your child is your idol because you're not letting your husband paw you when you're sore and frustrated.

---

Though I understand the importance & Biblical relevance of putting your spouse first and marriage being a higher priority than the children, the reality is that when babies are little, it is almost impossible for a woman to balance all of these expectations. We are starting to become insane about the different roles we expect a woman to fulfill perfectly - giving her lists on how she can improve who she is, throwing Biblical principles in her face to increase the pressure (the article didn't do this, but this is a common theme in many of the Christian family websites I read).

The question I have is that if the mother was really husband-centered, would she be accused of being a bad mom or neglectful because she's not baby-wearing, on-demand breastfeeding, cooking all of the baby's food, taking the baby to story time twice a week, homeschooling, sewing the baby's clothes, reading all the parenting magazines and always updating the baby's nursery?

When do we stop making mothers feel guilty and give them time to come into their own and find a healthy balance between being a mother and wife/partner? Are "danger sign" lists really necessary? What about gentle encouragement and reinforcement? What about a little respect for all of the changes the woman is going through and some understanding that she might not be perfect?

I am going to make my danger signs list entitled, "13 Danger Signs You're Making Things Worse" and hand it out to these guys that came up with this list.

 Now I gotta run... I have meals to prepare and makeup to apply before someone catches me. Oh wait, I forgot... my husband rocks and eats frozen pizza and thinks I'm cute the way I am. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

So I started using Google Calendar more religiously about 9 months ago or so, when I realized that my mom brain was not allowing me to even remember where I sat my glass of water down. The funniest part is that I would schedule really normal, every day activities instead of important social events or appointments.

Examples of Things I Would Schedule
-Take long shower while Everly is napping today
-Call sister
-Go get some groceries
-Clear out inbox and reply to messages

Looking at these things, it's clear I could have just made a to-do list, but instead it was necessary for me to actually schedule them, so I could look at my calendar and see how I'd been spending my time (other than changing diapers and preparing bottles).

These days, my schedule actually is more social and full of appointments. The next two weeks I have a playdate at an aquatic center, I have to pay my first payment toward student loans (ouch!), Billy's cousin Chris is coming to visit us, we close on our house & pick up the Uhaul, I have my 24 week appointment with my midwife, two renters (so far) are coming to look at the house, my dad and stepmom are coming up to visit, and I'm sending a pizza to a woman in my playgroup that just had a baby.

But I think the calendar is a good example of how motherhood has been for me. At the beginning, it was just about basic survival and whether or not I could brush my teeth that day without being too tired. As I've gained confidence and skill, my calendar has become fuller and I pride myself on being busier. I guess I feel like I can manage all of these things when before, they would have overwhelmed me.

So... new mamas... if during those first 6-12 weeks or so you feel like you have to make an appointment with your partner so they can rub your feet or maybe even a repeating "event" of eating dinner every night... do it. I promise, we've all been there and we all understand. And those things are just as important as any other "event" you did before or will do again in the future.

For now... just enjoy and love your babies. That's something that you shouldn't have to add to a calendar to remember.

Ever since I moved Momfish to blogspot.com's free hosting service and stopped posting as much, readership has declined rapidly. I definitely expected it and there were (are) days where I wanted to pop a "CLOSED!" sign up in the window of this bad boy and walk away from it. I'm not someone who has issues with walking away if I'm uncomfortable, unhappy, or unsure of something... or even if I'm just bored. Some people think it's a flaw (most) and some people think it's an admirable quality (like 4), but I think it's just the truth.

When I started Momfish, I did my predictable "thing" and over-committed myself, instead of starting at a slow and steady pace. When I over-commit myself, I almost always back out, especially if something big happens in my life... like an unexpected pregnancy.

So this post isn't to make any promises like I had been doing. When I make a promise, I almost always break it. If I tell myself, "Don't eat that chocolate cookie!" I'll eat 12 of them an hour later just to prove that I can. I guess I have an issue feeling like I'm expected to do something, a strange reluctance to accept that my mind & body should ever have to be governed by other people's rules or expectations.

Self-reflection is a positive thing, people!



But anyway.

We are moving into our new house on July 18th. It has a fenced back yard, four bedrooms that will accommodate babies and guests, a kitchen that is wide open to the living room and highly favorable for crawling munchkins, a whirlpool tub in the master bathroom, and a covered front porch so I can sit outside and sip ice water in my rocking chair and comment about the neighbors like the old soul I sometimes am.

The process of buying the house has been hectic and stressful, though not overwhelmingly so (surprisingly). A big part of that is my husband aka Superman... he somehow balances his full-time job with helping me with Everly, signing loan documents on lunch breaks, printing/scanning/faxing forms when he finds the time, and telling me my cheeks are perfect for kissing. Another part is that after you've had a baby (and I'll see if anyone agrees)... you kind of feel like you can handle anything, really.


Along with moving into our new house, we're going to rent our old one. This has been the most stressful part because that means cleaning, fixing up, advertising, waiting, and hoping. I don't like this part, but we're sure we'll have renters by August, which is what we need. God had a part in this all along and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that if we put in the work, he'll help provide the fruit of our labor... or he may point and laugh at us while he snacks on popcorn... I mean, he's God, he can do whatever he wants. :)

In a couple of hours I'll be 23 weeks pregnant. Though I've been much less anxious about this pregnancy, I will admit that I am eagerly awaiting the 24 week (viability mark). And then I'll await the 28 week mark, the 32 week mark, and lastly - the 36 week mark. The pregnancy has been somewhat uneventful. Our baby boy rolls around in my belly (yes, a boy! it's a boy!) and last night Billy asked him if he'd like his name to be Billy and he kicked right on my belly button so we're assuming that was either an excited, "YES!" or an angry, "OMG WHAT?! NO!" We will continue to ask him about his name preference and take his opinion into serious consideration.



As for symptoms? Well, I'm tired. Having a one year old (yes! she turned 1!) and being pregnant does not an energetic person make. I get Braxton Hicks a lot more often, which I'm guessing is my body screaming, "PLEASE stop getting pregnant, woman!" so I try to drink water and take it easy and I have to wear a maternity support belt. Yes, really. My skin is broken out, as it did with Everly. I am just now starting the frequent night waking and frequent bathroom trips, and I'm eagerly awaiting the swollen foot phase.

The strangest part is that I'm over-joyed that we are having our babies close together. I can't imagine it any other way now that we're doing this, it is just going to be ideal for us. Hard... hard, hard, hard. But ideal.

Lastly - I've been looking for part-time jobs. I am so ready to get back into the "adult" world and interact with my clients again. However, it doesn't seem like I'm an ideal job candidate because my belly is huge and round and I scream liability so it looks like that might be on the back burner until our little boy is at least 2 or 3 months old. We'll see.

Tell me what you've been doing, Momfishies. AND tell me if you think it's tacky to have a baby shower for your 2nd baby if it's the opposite sex.

The winner of the $10 gift certificate to Thirty-One is:

 

Danielle said...

I love thirty one!!

Yayayay! Congrats, Danielle! Contact Jenny at jhaight@gmail.com or JennyHaight.com to activate your gift certificate and for more information! Thanks for all those who commented, I know Momfish hasn't had a lot of activity lately, so I appreciate you stopping by and participating! Thanks Jenny for the great giveaway opportunity & the adorable all-in-one organizer bag. I love it!

Exciting news (any news at this point is probably exciting since I haven't posted in a while!)

I'm giving away a $10 gift certificate to Thirty-One courtesy of my friend Jenny!

RULES & DIRECTIONS
1) Open to U.S. residents only
2) Comment on this entry (once per person) for one entry (valid email addresses please)
3) Like Jenny's Facebook page for an extra entry
4) Up to 2 entries per person
5) Contest ends July 4th, 2011
6) The winner will be notified through this website and email and given instructions for redemption




Jenny sent me the All-in-One organizer (shown above) to try out and I love it! It has two pockets on the sides and an empty middle and it has been a great little bag to have around. I've used it for sunscreen, a towel, sunglasses, and my cellphone when I take Everly outside. I've used it for library books and my library card. I've used it for groceries if I'm just running out for some small items. And it is currently being used for smaller toys in Everly's room because the pattern is so adorable! Everly loves it, too. It's super sturdy so she plays with it a lot. Playing with = hurling her body on top of it and screaming & biting it excitedly.

The poor bag has taken a lot of abuse, and it still looks great!

The fabric is a thick, high quality and the colors are vibrant. And the All-in-One organizer is being discontinued in August so if you want it - GET IT NOW!


There are a ton of other things at Thirty-One that I want to get my hands on and I'm not even someone who normally carries bags or likes trendy bags (like Vera Bradley, for example). I think what appeals to me is the quality (and of course the price) but also all the different colors & customization you can put together.

Look at this robot pattern! I like Free Spirit Ditzy, too. And the patterns change with the seasons, so you can get newer looks but not break the bank (face it -none of us can afford to do much these days).

The bags are practical, great for yourself or as gifts, and there are a TON of different sizes/shapes. Some have more storage, some are just like regular purses, some are backpacks and they have other stuff too! They have bibs and burp cloths, and small cooler bags for bottles.

Practical, affordable, high quality, cute patterns... yup. Everything a mama needs.

SOME EXAMPLES OF ITEMS YOU CAN USE $10 TOWARD:
1) Organizing Utility Tote ($22) aka Diaper Bag
2) 30 Custom Address Labels ($5) for Baby Announcements
3) Mini Zipper Pouch ($10) for I.D., chapstick, etc. - throw in your diaper bag!
4) Scarves ($20) Throw in your hair on ponytail days (basically every day)
5) Picnic Thermal Tote ($28) for bottles or lunch on the go

Good luck in the contest! Thanks Jenny for sponsoring! I think you guys are gonna love these bags and accessories.

Back when I was about 14, and really into the blogging world, I would share information about myself that the 26 year old me thinks is absolutely insane. I was your typical egotistical teenager, and blogging (and webcamming) made that an even easier road to travel down. When I decided to try homeschooling because public school left me feeling unchallenged, disheartened, and confused about who I was - I became even more involved in the online world, expanding a social network that I'm humbled to say still befriends me today (Hi, guys & girls! :D) They became my confidants, and though I still had "real friends", I found I had less in common with them and their views of the world and more in common with these very real but distant friends I started making.

I don't need to tell you (other than to start this paragraph) that blogging and social networking have exploded in the past 12 years. With that explosion, privacy is no longer the norm:

"People have really gotten comfortable not only sharing more information and different kinds, but more openly and with more people. That social norm is just something that has evolved over time." -Mark Zuckerberg

As we share more information with each other, we form stronger bonds, now not only with "online friends", but with real life friends that we feel have finally caught up to this world that we've known about perhaps a little longer than they have. We tell people what we're eating, drinking, what time we're going to sleep, what store we're going to shop in that day, how much money we just spent on a new car, what we're planning on doing that week, where we're going on vacation - and not only do we tell people this, but we show them 100's of pictures and videos to help them visualize our life. Our life that they may no longer see in person because we're all inside, on our computers, updating each other about it.

I've even found that because I share so much online (especially about Everly on Facebook) that it doesn't make me feel the urge to go and physically see friends and family as much any more... because I feel like they already "know everything".

The past few weeks, however, I have taken a different approach. I have been much more quiet about our personal happenings. Sure, I'm still updating, but I haven't gone into detail about our current house hunt, I haven't gone into detail about my pregnancy, I haven't gone into detail about the new job I might be getting that's perfect for me, and I haven't gone into detail about the gender of the baby - which is aggravating quite a few of you. ;)

And it is really strange what has happened. Because I'm not putting it all out there, I've actually hurt some feelings. People feel abandoned... left out of the loop... not realizing everyone is out of the loop, not just them. I've had a handful of friends express that they feel ignored, mistreated, or confused because they don't know what I'm doing or the extent to which I'm doing it. Though I've watched them carry on with their online lives, I see that there is a gap... that they miss me... that information that I blindly put out there was really information that they relied on to feel connected to me, since we're apart from each other physically.

This self-centered realization doesn't just apply to me, however. It applies to all of us. After I got back from vacation, I excitedly checked social feeds to "catch up" with people... people I could easily call and talk to, or go to lunch with. I was interested in what had happened in their lives - what articles they were reading or what their babies were doing. I missed them... I missed that connection.

And so while I may not divulge every, little detail of my life (as none of us should feel obligated to), I do want to respect the unique situation I'm in which is that many of the people I care about aren't close enough to visit often. Many of the people who care about me are trying so hard to reach out and I'm shutting them down. That's not fair to make them feel like that, and I don't want to lose anyone in the process. While my life belongs to me, I also feel like it's only fair I share pieces of it with friends and family so they remember that I love them and that they're a part of me, too. And if I'm not going to make the effort to do that in person, I need to at least do it online.

So yeah...  Momfish isn't really geared toward being an all-encompassing, personal blog. But I wanted to put this out there... I wanted to put something open out there... because it has been a while since I've done that.

Ahhhhh, vacation. It was great... though I'll admit something.

Going to the beach without a baby = infinitely easier than going to the beach with a baby.

I know, I was shocked as well.

Somehow we carried our weight in supplies down to each beach visit, stayed about 2 hours, then went back to the hotel with a sweaty baby and sandy legs. Then we sat and ate and watched TV during nap time... or napped ourselves... or read books or sat out on the porch... and then maybe went somewhere that night if we were brave enough for the heat & the crowd.

Basically once you have a baby... there will be no more carefree days. Ever. In the history of the world. You will worry, moan, and groan every day of your life FOREVER AND EVER and you might as well get used to it. The level of worry is up to you, however. But make no mistake that the level will never be zero again. And if you think you have worries now - just no. You don't.

Okay you might but not really. Have a kid. You'll get it.

(Okay before I had a kid I would find that statement annoyingly condescending and want to punch the person who said it in the face. I give you full permission to find it annoyingly condescending but please don't punch me in the face because I'm pregnant and move slow.)

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Will she choke on that crusty bread?

Is the sand in her eyes?


Is that bird with the dangerously large beak too close?


Does she have a dirty diaper?


Is the wind coupled with the sound too much stimulation?


Does this activity fall during naptime?


I wonder how much salt and oil was used to make her grilled cheese?


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A thinking-about-it-but-not-yet lady might read this and think... "Oh man. Is it even worth it to have babies, then?"

I think yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I promise it is.

Hey all! Please update your RSS feeds to http://www.momfish.com/feeds/posts/default - I switched to Blogspot's free hosting instead of using Wordpress to save the extra $7 a month. It doesn't seem like much but we are saving for something big! ;)

Things might look junky around here for a few days while I fix them up. We leave for our vacation on Saturday so hopefully things will look nice before then.

Also the message boards are gone for now. Thanks to everyone who participated. They were fun but as always, I underestimated the amount of time I'd need to put into them.

Thanks for being so patient!

Hey, all.

Okay so... I didn't do all the things I wanted to. None of them, really.

But I have...

watched Everly's top two teeth poke through, help her walk around the room while she holds my hands, laid in bed with my husband daydreaming about our other little one that's arriving in November (we know the sex now!), gotten pre-approved for a home loan, put the house on the market for renters, taken the house off the market for renters, been disappointed when realizing all the extra charges they add on top of mortgage these days if you don't put 20% down, been proud of my husband all the money he's saved & everything he's accomplished while supporting his whole family, entertained my in-laws a couple weekends in a row, started packing for our trip to the beach next week, cleaned the house in ways it has never been cleaned before, kept fresh flowers in the house, and taken better care of painting my toenails.

I can't promise anything any more because my "real" life is crazy busy and I like it and I want to keep it that way for now. I'll post when I post, I won't when I won't. I do have a Thirty-One giveaway still if I can get the darn pictures. Unfortunately Billy stole my bag Jenny gave me and uses it for himself apparently... to haul library books around in his car... which is actually my car... that has a "Kalen" license plate... :)

Talk when we talk - see ya when we see ya. Maybe I'll let you know the gender of baby #2 very soon? Maybe it'll be a little while longer.

The beach calls next week so who knows what will happen?

I have an awesome giveaway coming up for a gift certificate to Thirty-One thanks to my friend Jenny! I can't wait to review the bag she sent me, because I've been using it for something special and it's adorable. That will be up tomorrow so look for it!

I hate that I've been letting Momfish kind of fall to the side of the road lately, but as most pregnant women know - you're shocked into survival mode, especially with a 10 month old running around. A cute, happy, screeching, button-nosed 10 month old.



I am getting back on the bandwagon, because the fresh (HOT) weather and the relief of the second trimester are finally washing over me. But it takes time to feel like my feet aren't sliding out from under me again, and instead of reaching out for support, I've reached inward (and upward to my creator) and waited. That's something I kinda do... though I'm working on it.

So on my checklist of things to do:

* Better blogger

* Better friend

* Better keeper of promises to myself

It's like New Year resolutions only it's the middle of May so there's a slight chance I may actually pull through (with at least one thing on the list). There's also still a chance I will instead go buy Oreo Cakesters and cram them in my mouth while I stare at my pasty white legs and my dog rolls around in rabbit poop.

What I love about my life is that it can go either way at any moment, and I never seem to really be the one steering, as much as I like to pretend I am.

Everly Mae,


You're 10 months old today. Grandma and Grandpa Clark were here this morning and kept saying, "Two more months until she's one!" and I kept my fingers in my ears and said, "I can't hear you!" I guess it's because this is what I remember from 10 months ago:



You are in the habit of biting these days. I have started saying a firm, "No," and trying to redirect your attention, but sometimes I laugh. I know I'm doing the wrong thing when I react that way, but it's hard because I know you're frustrated and trying to communicate, and you unfortunately don't understand that biting isn't an acceptable way of doing that. You also stand or sit in your crib now, which makes nap time kind of painful sometimes and means that I often have to go back and lay you down again, which leaves you pleased I can tell. You are at your cutest when you're being sneaky.


You are an explorer. You study things, turning them around and admiring their colors and structure. You crawl to different corners of the house and stay interested in your surroundings for much of the day. You'll empty board game boxes, lick shoelaces, try to eat a stray leaf, practice climbing skills, and loudly exclaim when you're bored or confused. "Eh! Eh! Ah! Ah! Ah!" Hilariously enough, this is also what you do when Billy leaves the room and you want him to come back downstairs. "Eh! Ahhhhh??? Ah!? Eh!" It's adorable. Almost as adorable as when you take off in a sprint-crawl toward him and then sit at his feet and hold out your arms. You love him so much. It makes me love him even more, somehow.


It's me you really want when you're hurt, scared, hungry, or tired. You want me to stand up and sway with you or rub your back in circles. Sometimes you like me to sing for you, and when you do, I know you're not feeling yourself. When you're feeling yourself and I sing for you, you bite me or whine until I stop. You know what you want and you're not afraid of asking for it. I admire that about you and hope you don't lose that innocence. That's called being assertive, and often times some of us lose that skill because we're afraid of the backlash. Don't lose that skill, Everly. It will take you far in life. You'll be seen as an honest person and you'll always feel like you're putting your real self out there. But be gentle with it. Being too blunt with honesty can be painful and damaging.

My 10 month old sweet potato pie. You make me laugh with your crinkling of magazine papers, your excited screams when you see a toy you like most, and the way you selectively choose when you talk and when you listen. You are very purposeful in your behavior. Aunt Kin-Kin and I call you a "mature" baby, which sounds hilarious but the people that have been around you would agree. You have a certain calm about you, a certain understanding of things... it's remarkable. It is one of the specific traits that attracted me to your father. His ability to silently comprehend what was happening. The trait that attracted him to me was my ability to put his comprehension into words for him when he needed me to. We compliment each other, and I think you're going to have both of our traits and be a perfect representation of our personalities.


You eat real food and drink most of your formula from sippys now. I've thought a lot about how to explain this to you... the feeling you have when you see your tiny, helpless baby and they're effortlessly feeding themselves and drinking their formula and they don't need you... but there isn't a good explanation. It's a mixture of being proud, sad, scared, happy, excited, and obsolete. I used to tease parents that had difficulty letting their children grow up, but I'm more empathetic toward them now (though honey, I'm not gonna hold you back, I promise, even if it kills me)... ok, ok, truth be told I'm kind of holding you back already because I still give you a bottle here & there even though you're over them.


Ahem. Nobody's perfect!


I love you deeply. I love that you crawl to me and say, "Mamamamamama..." and want to sit with me and do what I'm doing. I love that you want to eat what I eat, drink what I drink, sing what I'm singing. I love that you dance, shake your head "No," and scream happily when you see Millie. I love the life you've given me.



When your dad and I fell in love, I would say, "I love you! I love you! I love you!" three times in a row. I told him that if someone says something 3 times, you know they *really* mean it. Through the years I would save the triple expressions for random moments, when we needed a spark of romance. And now, I can pass the sentiment on to you, and teach you that if you really want someone to know how you feel, tell them three times.

...I love you, I love you, I love you.

My friend Britt sent this and it made me smile. Hang in there, pregnant mamas! It's hard but this should make you smile.

First off - I wasn't paid for any of this and didn't receive anything free. Deep breath. Ok.

We recently had an awesome experience with Personalization Mall, where we ordered a custom address stake for our yard, because we don't have numbers on our door any more and the pizza men were getting frazzled, if you wanna be honest. One guy sped off numerous times, up and down the street, before finally figuring out that the girl standing outside (me) was flagging him down. It ruined his life.

So yeah, a few days after I ordered we got our yard stake and it was great quality and I was super impressed and wanted to promote them on my own free will... being the sweet person I am (PERSONALIZATION MALL, SEND ME FREE STUFF FOR MY KINDNESS).

Here's a sample of some of their cute, non-cheesy stuff. Look how adorable these personalized canvas pictures are for a nursery. They're all around the $20-30 mark:

So yes, I was looking at their Mother's Day special (free shipping on orders over $65) and also checking out some recent coupons posted for them (up to 15% off - I love RetailMeNot). Plus you get 7.5% cash back automatically with Ebates. Yes, automatically. Yes, it's legit. I already got my money.

Ok - so onto some of the cute Mother's Day presents I saw, liked, and wanted to be frugal & share. Remember - all of these things are personalized (with initials, messages, names, dates, etc. just depending on the item) and the personalization is free.



So those are just a few of the choices that I thought were cute without being over the top or tacky. Remember if you buy to do it before the special ends, and to sign up and shop through Ebates (it's free) so you get cash back automatically. More presents to come my lovelies. I must hint, hint, hint to Billy about what I'm wanting for myself you know... (prenatal massage, prenatal massage, prenatal massageeee).

What are you planning on getting your mama? What do you want for yourself... and don't say your baby is enough cause girl, I know you're tired and wanting some pamperin'.