Posting this a little late. :)

Everly Mae,

I was just doing the laundry and thought of your face in the mornings. I walk into your room, rubbing my eyes and grumbling because mornings are awful, and then I spot you and you spot me. You excitedly squeal and bury your face into your mattress and rub it back and forth, in disbelief. Then you look back up at me with a huge smile, cheeks fat and happy, and let out a big, "Ahhhh!!!!" and you snort and giggle.


"Good morning, cricket breath," has been my latest greeting. Sometimes it's, "Good morning, turkey butt." You roll back and forth from your tummy to your sides until I pick you up, and when I put you up on my shoulder, you lay your head down on it and pat my back.


I'm not sure I understand what God's love feels like, but since you've been born, I certainly understand it better. I understand Him better.


My little 8 month old. You love your new ball your Grandma and Grandpa Clark got you. When it lights up, you look at me and grin like, "Are you seeing this Mama? Pretteh cool... pretteh cool." You also love this foam teddy bear book you found at their house. When we read it to you, you become impatient and start throwing a fit, because really you just want to chew it. You're wanting to chew everything these days because you're cutting your second tooth! Yup. Your second. Your first popped through on the 22nd of Feb. When I felt it with my finger, my eyes watered. Later that day when you fed yourself, I clapped loudly because I was so proud, and then my heart settled and I felt sad.



The way your pudgy hand looked as you brought it up to your mouth... your tiny fingers gripping the yogurt melt as tight as you could... your look of concentration as you got it into your mouth and started chewing... the way you kicked your feet after your success. I'll never forget that. I froze the moment so it would never slip away from me.


You're getting much more active. You're trying to crawl, you like standing while holding onto something, and you roll around like wild now. You're also talking more! You can say "baba, boob, bob, mom, mama, gaga, hah, ahh" and other strange combinations that aren't as common. Some days you talk a lot and some days you're really quiet. You're a perfect mix of me and your daddy. Hilariously, you love saying "Bob!" (your step-grandpa's name) the most and say it in moments of desperation, which cracks us up. "Bobbbbbb!" you said the other day in your carseat, throwing your head back. "Bob. Bobbbbbbbb!"

You've inspired me in so many ways. I'm less selfish. I'm more patient. I'm more assertive. I'm able to push myself beyond limits I used to have. I'm less anxious (though I worry more). I'm more productive. I find bliss more simply.


It's strange how you magnified the important things and made everything else seem so small in comparison.


It's very common for new moms to look disheveled and disorganized, and yes part of it is because we're tired and overwhelmed. But I think a bigger part is that we don't care. It doesn't matter. We don't want to look good to strangers... we want to be good to our babies.


You make me focus on the little stuff - like watching birds in the back yard, saying prayers of thankfulness, making funny faces in the mirror, dancing to funky music, letting dogs lick my face, and rolling around on the floor.


You're even starting to make me a morning person.


I love you, perfect hedgehog.