Everly woke up early this morning. Sometimes I swear I think she knows when I'm awake. I had got up an hour earlier than usual to have some "alone time" and so I guess she decided to do the same? Even though she hasn't got up that early since a month or so ago? She took an early nap that only lasted an hour instead of two... another not-so-common thing... well not in the last month. When it was time for her 2nd bottle, I was so tired that I propped her in bed beside me while I fed her, and closed my eyes and listened to her noises. Her lips smacked against her bottle and she stuck her tiny fingers all over my face while she ate. She let milk run down the corners of her mouth when she got bored, kicked her feet at our dog, and babbled when she took breaks.

Afterwards, she rolled around on the bed all over me, cuddling me and kissing and cooing. Everly isn't a particularly cuddly baby, so it was a pleasant change of pace. She let me hold her hands, whisper in her little ears how much I love her (she liked when I was calling her a "poopy butt" better, though) and she nuzzled me sweetly.

There are lots of hard things about having a baby. The fogginess the week after they're born, where you feel exhausted and confused. The anxiety when they won't stop crying and you have no idea what's wrong. The time it takes to load up a bag to go somewhere, even just down the street. The lack of sleep. The emotional intensity of loving something so much. The spit-up. The leaky diapers. The first cold. The financial costs. The lack of freedom. The worry. Oh goodness, the worry!

But moments like this morning, when I was stressing over life situations and tired from my newly acquired insomnia and my baby knew that I needed her to be awake when I was... to distract me. She knew she needed to sleep less and play with me more... to cuddle me gently and give me milky kisses while she screamed into my cheek, because those moments are medicinal. I know you can picture it in your head and think, "Awww that's cute!" but that's not what I mean at all. It is cute, yes, but it's something more than that. It's a connection that is so deeply rooted that even my horrible mood can't keep me from smiling and feeling all warm and gooey inside. Paper hearts and unicorns! (But it's true)

Babies are hard work. But they are also the most refreshing, hilarious, wonderful little creatures to have around when you need them. They help alleviate pain, that's for sure.

So take two doses and call me in the morning.